


like a stove, i'll turn my love down

by icarxs



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drunk Texting, Gen, Grantaire is a ballet dancer, Internet, M/M, Multi, Texting, everyone is in this i'm just too lazy to tag, they all drink so much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 15:11:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5875657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarxs/pseuds/icarxs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- ok so im texting you now like i promised instead of drunk texting enjolras and telling him how badly i want his cock tonight are u proud</p><p>- This is Enjolras, hi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. my mouth got going the wrong way

**Author's Note:**

> "but eliza! shouldnt you finish the fics youve started before posting the first chapter of another!" probably
> 
> Enjolras, Grantaire and Cosette live in Paris! Grantaire wants to be an etoile in the Paris opera nationale ballet! Most of everyone else is at university in Nice! Imagine that all these conversations are actually in highly abbreviated French and it all gets funnier
> 
> tw for alcohol, a joke about homophobia and a discussion of mental illness and the poor handling thereof
> 
> the title and titles of the chapters are from the shipped gold standard by fall out boy because grantaire is an emo child and so am I.

**ok so im texting you now like i promised instead of drunk texting enjolras and telling him how badly i want his cock tonight are u proud**

_This is Enjolras, hi._

-

**courfeyrac i made a big mistake**

**a big mistake**

**this is a joke**

**its such a mistake that its a joke**

**u dont understand my restraint in not textin in all caps rn**

**COURF**

**sorry**

**im listenin g 2 fall out boy and crying whn do u get up on a saturday**

**COURFEYRAC pls u are my only hope**

**im sobering up. i can feel the pain comin. u are hte only thing that can sav e me now.**

R its 5am how much of a joke is this mistake

**its a 5am joke THANK GOD UR HERE**

omg did u sleep w someone w a significant other again

**NO ITS WORSE so much worse its so bad i cant even tell u**

then what is the point

tell meeeeeee

it cant be that bad

cmon no one died no one was maimed there were no animals involved it cant be that bad right???

**your standards r so weird**

**i cant tell u on text im cringing so hard its a whole body shudder**

**IM SO IN LOVE AND I FUCKED UP**

**meet me 4 coffee**

yeah sure i’ll just drIVE TO FUCKIN PARIS

**if u loved me ud drive to paris for me trust me this is driving to paris material this is ‘I felt myself sobering so I started drinking again’ material COURF HELP ME**

i cant help you unless you tell me what you did babe

**ok im sleeping bc i have class later ill tell u when ive mustered up the strenght**

u cant sleep im awkae now!!!!

r???

r???!!!!!

oh my god

-

[05:32] @courfeyrockyou: early morning waffles are excellent but id rather be eating them at 10am tbh

-

_Courfeyrac. Something very strange has happened and I need your help. Let me know when you’re around to talk? e_

enjolras do you know how texting works?

_What? Of course I do! I just texted you!_

u dont have to start it like a letter and ask me when im free im free all the time thats what a smartphone does

_Are you free to talk now? This is serious._

oh my god ok fine whats up

_No, it’s fine if you’re busy._

enjolras. i am not busy. tell me ehat happened

_Grantaire sent me a strange text last night, and I was wondering if you knew what he was talking about?_

oh boy

ok

hoooo boy

let me get back to you on that one

-

**group chat: COURF IS ALWAYS A SLUT FOR ANIME [courf <3 ; combeferre ; BAHORELLL ; jolllly ; jehan]**

05:59am

courf<3: ok guys we need to have crisis talks immediately

courf<3: what part of ‘immediately’ do u people not understand

courf<3: so you’ll respond to bahorel sending a tfw no gf meme w/in five seconds but not to me with an ACTUAL LIFE CHANGING CRISIS????? I see how it is

06:23am

combeferre: courfeyrac it is six in the morning and i am a med student. this had better be a bloody big crisis

courf<3: ferre thank god I knew I could count on you

combeferre: get to it

courf<3: alright jeez

courf<3: r texted enjolras something but he wont tell me what and it was a big enough deal that e texted me about it have u guys heard nythgn or do I need to call cosette

combeferre: e hasn’t said anything to me?? should I be offended?? Im offended

BAHORELLL: I literally cannot believe you guys woke me up

courf<3: BAHOREL THANK GOD

courf<3: I knew you’d answer my call for help

BAHORELLL: goodnight courf

courf<3: i hate u

07:42am

jolllly: what did i miss

jolllly: COURF FILL ME RIGHT NOW

courf<3: thats what he said

jolllly: omg I meant fill me in ***FILL ME IN

courf<3: ;)

combeferre: im moving out

-

[07:56am] @courfeyrockyou: when will grantaire check his indirects

[08:02am] @courfeyrockyou: APPARENTLY NEVER @grand_taire ANSWER YOUR PHONE I S2G

-

**why is it that your flat always knows everythign about me within five seconds of it happening**

R!!! YOU’RE AWAKE!! GOD BLESS

we have a very active group chat

**great.**

u need to tell me what happened what happened pls friend

you can snapchat me a screenshot if u cant bear to write it out

**thank u**

**stand by**

standing by

**brace urself**

everything is v braced

-

[08:39am] **new snapchat from: thegrandtaire**

-

oh no

**yes**

oh NO

**y e s**

OH NO

**courf**

sorry

but O H N O

**i am aware**

ok alright

we can deal w this

**no we cant. It is over and done. I am never emerging frm my blanket hole of delight ever. u will hve to send me pizza from Nice at periodic intervals so i dont starve bc i am never leavign the house again. knowin my luck il bump into him outside the opera nationale and i'll cry and mme selene will kick me out of the company an then i'll truly have no dignity**

well u can use the word periodic in a sentence so it cant be that bad

**courf**

sorry do u want 2 skype

**no i dont want any human company ever**

-

combeferre it’s really bad

_Oh look, a text at a normal hour. When was the last time you slept?_

NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR NORMAL SLEEP CYCLES. NOW IS THE TIME FOR DAMAGE CONTROL

_do you want me to come to your room so you can properly freak out_

yes please thanks

_Two seconds I’ve just got out the shower_

oh uh thats fine idm haha come whenever I mean come over whenever

-

r really i dont mind skyping u you can even hide under ur blankets & everything

**courf your lack of an immediate plan is scaring me**

combeferre is here we’re thinkign

**u mean he’s thinking abd youre staring**

u don’t have a leg to stand on mssr

**good point**

enjolras texted me about it

**oh m y god no**

**oh noooooo**

it’s ok!!! He just sounded confused!! maybe u could say that it was a mistake w his name????

**oh my god i cant believe he cared enough to text u oh ymg od that’s so bad**

**why was he awake anyway**

**hes probably working too hard**

**i would text and ask when he last ate**

**but I CAN’T BECAUSE WE CAN NEVER SPEAK AGAIN**

grantaire breathe & calm down combeferre will fix this

-

**group chat: COURF IS ALWAYS A SLUT FOR ANIME [courf <3 ; combeferre ; BAHORELLL ; jolllly ; jehan]**

09:18am

combeferre: update, i cannot fix this

courf<3: this is so not what i wanted to hear

BAHORELLL: oh no is it really bad

combeferre: it’s so bad

courf<3: spectacularly bad

jolllly: rip grantaire

courf<3: lterally

-

okay basically what do you want him to know? I can ring him and 100% lie and say his name autocorrected from someone elses and he might nt believe it but it’ll put off confrontation?? OR u (considering u are the only one of us who actually lives in the same city as him except Cosette) could just take him on a date. Food 4 thought

**option 1 pls**

**i barely sleep i don’t have time to take someone on a date**

dont pretend like ur thinkin about your career youre just a coward but ok fine. 

stay tuned for more adventures w courfeyrac the liar

-

It Is Done

**Thank u v much im going to go back to sleep now did he believe u**

not at first but im a v accomplished liar. it comes from being the son of people who think jean-marie le pen “is criticised too much by the media”

**haha nice**

yhh. go to sleep r

**thanks courf I owe u**

that’s ok xxx

by the way youre now dating someone called emmanuel it was the best name I could think of off the top of my head good luck

-

[10:12am] @courfeyrockyou: why is my life like this

[10:15am] @thmothman: @courfeyrockyou don’t lie, you love the drama. It fuels you

[10:23am] @courfeyrockyou: @thmothman that is too true actually

-

**group chat: COURF IS ALWAYS A SLUT FOR ANIME [courf <3 ; combeferre ; BAHORELLL ; jolllly ; jehan]**

11:34am

jehan: [jefferson voice] WHAT’D I MISS

courf<3: -screenshot-

jehan: OH MY GOD

BAHORELLL: OH MY GO D

jolllly: OH MY FUCKGIN GOD

courf<3: its ok I lied for him

BAHORELLL: IM SCREAMING SILENTLY IN THE LIBRARY

jehan: haha law student life i just got up

BAHORELLL: :/

-

Cosette can you tell me how your brother looks right now

_no? courf we arent together 24/7 how do you think siblings work_

-

**cosette. My favourite smol parisienne bean. how are you. how is enjolras**

_r you are also parisien and I don’t know how should I know why?_

**yes but i am not smol**

_that did not answer my question_

-

_Cosette! Hey, just wondering – have you spoken to Enjolras today? Thanks – ferre_

Combeferre…

-

**group chat: give me information right now or so help me [r ; courf <3 ; combeferre ; cxsette ; jolllly ; therealfeuilly ; ep-onin-e ; BAHORELLL ; jehan ; mariussx ; chetta ; bossuettt]**

1:13pm

cxsette: okay some had better explain to me what is going on right now or someone (courfeyrac) is going to get hurt

courf<3: oh no

mariussx: what happened?

r: nothing happened (:

ep-onin-e: “nothing happened” says r accompanied by the most stressed emoji of all time

r: i’ll stress your emoji

ep-onin-e: i’d like to see you try

mariussx: why isn’t enjolras in this chat

courf<3: oh no

cxsette: courfeyrac stop saying that and just explain

BAHORELLL: i could explain

r: OR NOT

therealfeuilly: guys im at work is this urgent

r: NO!!!

therealfeuilly: …I’ll take that as a yes

r: feuilly. please. my precious sunshine beam. protect me from these people. put your capable foot down

therealfeuilly: ok what did you do

cxsette: yeah r what did you do

combeferre: there was just an autocorrect issue, guys, chill and leave them alone

-

thank u ferre

_ur welcome xoxo_

-

oh no

**what**

just…oh no

**is this an enjolras oh no or a combeferre oh no**

a combeferre oh no

**oh that’s alright then**

HEY AFTER ALL THE LIES I TOLD FOR YOU

**one lie and u also tol d him I was dating someone called Emmanuel**

ok listen

-

_Courfeyrac, do you think I should try and talk to Grantaire? I think he might be embarrassed because he still hasn’t texted me and usually he would have done by this point. Maybe I’m over thinking this. But I don’t want to cause an issue between him and his new S.O. thanks, e_

enjolras, I despair

_What? Did I do something wrong?_

no, no, nvm. um I think r is embarrassed but I’m sure he’ll be fine, he’s just sleeping off his hangover

_Right, of course. I should’ve thought of that. Thanks :-)_

-

did you know your brother puts noses in his smiley faces

_don’t talk to me about it_

-

**group chat: Les Amis de L’ABC [r ; TheEnjolras ; courf <3 ; combeferre ; cxsette ; jolllly ; therealfeuilly ; ep-onin-e ; BAHORELLL ; jehan ; mariussx ; chetta ; bossuettt]**

16:42pm

TheEnjolras: Hi, everyone. Just making sure everyone is up to joining our first Skype chat of the new academic year.

combeferre: im around

courf<3: same!!

chetta: sorry guys I have a shift but im sure bossuet’ll fill me in :D

r: might be there, might not

TheEnjolras: could you confirm so we know whether to wait for you?

r: sure, i wont be there

TheEnjolras: okay

17:11pm

BAHORELLL: me, jehan and joly will be!

courf<3: nice flat 32C represent

BAHORELLL: we are the best its true

-

r are u ok?

**yh i just have rehearsal. hungover rehearsal aka death**

hmm ok

**don’t hmm me mssr**

HMMMMMM

**i’ll text you when im done and join the skype if im up to it ok? Stop stressing**

me?? I don’t stress. I am as unstressed as any bean can be

**courf**

alright hmu thanks

-

**it just pisses me off how e will accept anyone elses explanation of low spoons but if I say im not around he needs a fuckin essay and a written note from my doctor or else he’ll just think im lazy**

**i know for a fact he treats feuilly and chetta and jehan a million times better and im not saying he shouldn’t im jst. annoyed that I somehow dont deserve the same allowances.**

**he’d never ask them in the group chat to confirm in front of everyone bc he appreciates their mental illnesses restrict them.and mine does too but somehow he still forgets??**

**and this isnt anything to do with me having “””feelings””” for him or whatever u call them it’s just annoying on a friend level. yeah u get it.**

**if u tell combeferre I said any of this because u cant control your dick i’ll come down to Nice an kill u myself**

**alright break over I’ll be back in a bit**

-

“””feelings””” or whatever u call them.

GRANTAIRE

maybe if you talked to him about it

i know u guys talk but you dont really ‘’’talk’’’if u know what I mean

idk if he even knows the extent of everything?? have u even told him you dance for the opera

-

**he knows I dance**

**speakin of which im on tonight so no skype for me definitely**

then tell e why?

**or what? he’ll think im just too lazy? he can continue to think that lmao it doesnt bother me**

r it’s fine for it to bother you he was out of line but u need to tell him what he did wrong or he’ll never learn

**are we still talking about enjolras or has combeferre finally bowed to u and let u get a puppy**

I FUCKIN WISH but no

he has not

he is as immovable as ever

jehan and I are working on it

**he’ll give in eventually he’s a sucker for u**

again I wish but no

wait uve distracted me

r just message him

hes not your teacher or your dance instructor he can hardly tell u off or smth that’s not what les amis is about it’s a no pressure environment

r?

did you short-circuit because I mentioned enjolras as your teacher

nurse! the screens!

-

**would you shut up omg I was changing christ**

**im gonna be on at seven**

call him!!!

**im not calling him omg. for what purpose??? he’d just be awkward and uncomfy and i’d get all flustered because u know how his voice gets to me**

are u blushing

**i am people will think ur my boyfriend**

r that’s gay

**i kno disgusting isnt it**

ANYWAY CALL HIM

**im not gonna**

**fuck ok ill text him**

YAY

**over an out say hi to everyone frm me**

will do xx

-

**hey Enjolras, just wanted to let you know that I have a dance thing tonight which is why I won’t be able to make the skype call. Didn’t want you thinking I was avoiding you after yesterday haha (:**

-

**group chat: COURF IS ALWAYS A SLUT FOR ANIME [courf <3 ; combeferre ; BAHORELLL ; jolllly ; jehan]**

19:02pm

courf<3: hey yall in?

combeferre: im in the kitchen

courf<3: two secs just let me change

combeferre: want me to order for you?

courf<3: yes!!!!

combeferre: what do you want? chinese?

courf<3: pizza??

combeferre: coming right up

courf<3: you are the greatest man I have ever known

jehan: can u guys please restrain yourselves your flirting is clogging my pores

courf<3: im not dignifying that w a response

-

_hey, R! don’t worry about it at all and good luck! I can fill you in if you like, just let me know after your show. - E_

-

**group chat: Les Amis de L’ABC [r ; TheEnjolras ; courf <3 ; combeferre ; cxsette ; jolllly ; therealfeuilly ; ep-onin-e ; BAHORELLL ; jehan ; mariussx ; chetta ; bossuettt]**

19:15pm

TheEnjolras: anyone around?

cxsette: me!

TheEnjolras: well that’s obvious we’re in the same room

BAHORELLL: flat 32c checkin in we’ll be five minutes the pizza is almost here

mariussx: pizza sounds amazing

ep-onin-e: seconded

BAHORELLL: we’ll send you virtual pizza thru the mike

ep-onin-e: thank

bossuettt: im ready when you are E

TheEnjolras: I’ll give you a ring the rest of you can drop in and out whenever you’re ready :)

bossuettt: call me ;) ;) ;)

TheEnjolras: I am

ep-onin-e: I..have no words

-

**how’re things going?**

no one appreciates my backing music how’s the show

**good i haven’t fucked up yet**

o that’s….good ?

**im kidding it’s going well im just havin a coffee in the interval**

**whats your choice of backing music? i hope it’s appropriately anarchist. or else really ironic**

the entire grease soundtrack

**i almost wish i was there**

**ok brb im back on**

-

**group chat: Les Amis de L’ABC [r ; TheEnjolras ; courf <3 ; combeferre ; cxsette ; jolllly ; therealfeuilly ; ep-onin-e ; BAHORELLL ; jehan ; mariussx ; chetta ; bossuettt]**

22:43pm

TheEnjolras: I’ll post the minutes asap guys. Good talk tonight!

r: was anything achieved or ?

TheEnjolras: something is always achieved! That’s the point!

r: i’ll take that as a no

-

**group chat: Flat 32c [courf <3 ; combeferre ; BAHORELLL ; jolllly ; jehan]**

22:52pm

combeferre changed the group name from **COURF IS ALWAYS A SLUT FOR ANIME** to **Flat 32c**

courf<3: combeferre!! i cant believe this!!

combeferre: im sorry i just couldn’t take it seriously

courf<3 changed the group name from **Flat 32c** to **combeferre has a stick up his ass and doesnt appreciate hu**

combeferre: doesn’t appreciate hu?

courf<3: it cut me off shut up

combeferre: ANYWAY THE POINT IS

combeferre: enjolras just texted me a wordless scream

combeferre: i think r is annoying him

jolllly: r’s just being sarcastic enjolras needs to chill

jehan: ‘Enjolras needs to chill’ – everyone ever

combeferre: i thought tonight was good though :(

courf<3: title of your sex tape

combeferre: i can assure you that would not be the title

courf<3: 378fgg65

courf<3: sorry i dropped my phone

courf<3: very funny ferre

BAHORELLL: anyone wanna go out

courf<3: me!! god. me. please i need alcohol

jehan: im in! can we go to that place

BAHORELLL: the vaguest statement ever

jehan: the one with the pink outside

jehan: YOU KNOW WHICH ONE I MEAN

BAHORELLL: i…don’t but sure let’s go there!!

courf<3: ferre?

combeferre: i have a 9am and no breaks until 2pm you guys go ahead

jolllly: rip courf’s dreams

courf<3: hahahahaha very funny

-

**group chat: HAND JIVE SQUAD [courf <3 ; jehan ; jolllly]**

23:04pm

courf<3: im resurrecting this chat from alst year to tell you

courf<3: joly

courf<3: you are dead to me

jehan: omg the hand jive squad!!! we should do this again!!!

courf<3: it’d be hard with a corpse doing joly’s parts but im sure we’d manage

jolllly: harsh

-

**group chat: combeferre has a stick up his ass and doesnt appreciate hu [courf <3 ; combeferre ; BAHORELLL ; jolllly ; jehan]**

23:02pm

BAHORELLL: predrinks in the kitchen in five

courf<3: god bless you my love

jehan: i only have wine

BAHORELLL: why are you such a classy bastard

courf<3: it’s probs not that classy

courf<3: i bet it’s just prosecco

jehan: shut the fuck up mssr “i only drink leclerc own-brand vodka” courfeyrac

courf<3: rude

combeferre: yet sadly true

-

it’s my turn to be drunk and your turn to stop me from doing something stupid

**courf i am terrible at that you know all my replies will just be ‘go for it’**

how was your show?

**fine im so tired tho**

you were rude to e

**e needs someone to be rude to him now and then**

**bed time for me**

sleep well

-

im so in love with combeferre

**yeah babe i know**

ouch

**yeah babe**

**trust me**

**i know**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be a part deux at some point do not stress
> 
> im sorry that none of my fics have a plot


	2. bring our luck back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -i know my costume for halloween
> 
> -it’s called ghost of grantaire and it’s really cheap because im already dead so all i have to do is turn up

**group chat: combeferre has a stick up his ass and doesnt appreciate hu [courf <3 ; combeferre ; BAHORELLL ; jolllly ; jehan]**

08:42am

combeferre: we need to talk about the state of the kitchen

11:22am

courf<3: incorrect. we need to never make noise again

jehan: seconded

BAHORELLL: i don’t know if i can do that

jehan: how about this

jehan: if you make any noise

jehan: i will end you

BAHORELLL: did the monoprix gin not agree with you

courf<3: it’s still not agreeing with them can’t you hear them throwing up

jolllly: please don’t mention throwing up i’m barely keeping it together my lecturer just asked me if i needed some fresh air

1:11pm

combeferre: -photo-

combeferre: I cleaned the kitchen

courf<3: how do you manage to save my life every single day

combeferre: i didn’t drink half a bottle of vodka

2:02pm

combeferre: but you’re welcome

-

_Hey, Courf :-)_

hi e whats up

_Nothing really. Just wanted to see how you were. How’re things?_

-

[17:12] @courfeyrockyou: ???????????????

[17:13] @courfeyrockyou: my friendship group are all so weird theyre giving me an aneuyrsm

-

are you alright e?

_Me? I’m fine! I was asking how you are!_

exactly oh my god but i’m fine!!! aren’t we going to catch up on tuesday?

_Well, sure. But I was just checking :-)_

uh huh

_Anyway. Haha isn’t it weird that Grantaire is dating someone outside of the group?_

-

[17:24] @courfeyrockyou: I CANT BELIEVE THIS I KNEW IT

[17:24] @courfeyrockyou: ITS ALL A SCAM

[17:25] @courfeyrockyou: this is getting ridiculous i resign my position as drama king. im handing in my crown

[17:27] @thmothman: @courfeyrockyou what was it you said last night? oh, that’s right:

[17:27] @thmothman: @courfeyrockyou ‘you would all die without me, you need me to save your souls’ i don’t think you’re going to resign

[17:28] @courfeyrockyou: @thmothman ferre please. just let me have this one thing

-

is it weird?

_Oh, I suppose not. Obviously he can go out with anyone he likes, I would never stand in his way._

of course not

_It just threw me off balance a little. I mean, do you even know this Emmanuel? I’ve never heard of them. Do they dance with him?_

i, uh, give me one sec e i’m just

the signal’s bad

_Oh, of course_.

-

R CODE RED

haha code red get it because E always wears red

IM GETTING DISTRACTED AGAIN

WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY

**oh my go d what**

**is this an actual emergency or a courf emergency**

are you implying that i’m a drama queen I LITERALLY CAN’T BELIEVE YOU

**im going to give you a moment to read that text again**

WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS KIND OF QUICK WITTED BANTER GRANTAIRE

ENJOLRAS IS ASKING ABOUT EMMANUEL

**who?**

your fake boyfriend?

**oh merde yeah**

where did you guys meet?

**are we really keeping this up?? didnt your therapist tell you to stop lying to reduce your anxiety**

i mean is therapy really important? do we have to do what our therapists say? i dont think so.

WE’RE ALL JUST HUMANS IN THE END

**oh my god fine**

**tell him we met at dance and it isn’t serious and then we can “break up” next week and he doesn’t need to know**

thanks r

**wait courf**

**why is he asking?**

**courf?**

**DON’T IGNORE ME**

**COURFEYRAC YOU HAVE YOUR READ RECEIPTS ON I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THESE**

**fine be that way**

-

heyyyy

yea they met at dance

i dont think it’s serious tho

_OH, he’s a fellow dancer? That makes sense._

I guess yeah

why do you ask?

_Grantaire is my friend! I’d ask if it was you too, obviously. Anyway, talk later :-)_

-

[18:19] @courfeyrockyou: i’m serious i resign

-

**group chat: HELP! i need somebody HELP! not just anybody HEL [courf <3 ; combeferre ; cxsette ; jolllly ; therealfeuilly ; ep-onin-e ; BAHORELLL ; jehan ; mariussx ; chetta ; bossuettt]**

7:03pm

courf<3: we need to talk about r and e

combeferre changed the group name from **HELP! I need somebody HELP! not just anybody HEL** to **intrusive relationship meddling 101**

courf<3 changed the group name from **intrustive relationship meddling 101** to **ferre doesnt care about his friends**

combeferre changed the group name from **ferre doesnt care about his friends** to **courfeyrac buys his vodka from leclerc**

courf<3: dont be so classist ferre

courf<3: what would e say

combeferre: it’s not classist to not want to go blind

courf<3: i’m not blind yet

courf<3 changed the group name from **courfeyrac buys his vodka from leclerc** to **LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS (to defet th**

combeferre: defet

courf<3: shut up

courf<3 changed the group name from **LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS (to defet the** to **LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS (to defeat th**

courf<3: anyway if ferre has finished trying to bring the attention back to himself AS PER USUAL

courf<3: we need to talk about the real issue here

ep-onin-e: have they stopped flirting yet can i open my eyes

jolllly: i think so but honestly it’s always a risk

BAHORELLL: our flat chat is a constant war zone

courf<3: YOU GUYS ARE HORRIBLE AND I HATE YOU

8:12pm

therealfeuilly: alright courf, what’s the issue

courf<3: THANK YOU

courf<3: this e and r thing has gone too far

courf<3: today enjolras texted me to ask why grantaire was dating someone else

courf<3: ???? he voluntarily brought grantaire’s relationship up to me, OVER TEXT

courf<3: DOES THAT SOUND LIKE ENJOLRAS TO YOU

combeferre: honestly

combeferre: i think you’re underestimating the lengths to which enjolras will go to avoid emotional confrontation

combeferre: scream directly in a police officer’s face and get tasered? all in a day’s work

combeferre: a simple conversation about feelings? he would literally choose the taser

courf<3: oh great

courf<3 changed the group name from **LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS (to defeat th** to **never mind, it’s apparently hopeless so**

combeferre: that’s the spirit

-

**group chat: Les Amis de L’ABC [r ; TheEnjolras ; courf <3 ; combeferre ; cxsette ; jolllly ; therealfeuilly ; ep-onin-e ; BAHORELLL ; jehan ; mariussx ; chetta ; bossuettt]**

9:14am

TheEnjolras: Hi, all! Guess what time of year it is!

ep-onin-e: time for marius to go back to england forever?

mariussx: i know cosette says meanness is your version of affection but right now it just feels a lot like bullying

ep-onin-e: >:)

TheEnjolras: This might surprise you, but I wasn’t going to begin extradition procedures against Marius.

ep-onin-e: GASP!!

TheEnjolras: Instead, it is…

TheEnjolras: Drum roll, please…

courf<3: -drum emoji-

TheEnjolras: TIME TO START ORGANISING THE NEXT MEET UP!

courf<3: YAY!!!!!!!

courf<3: wait organising

courf<3: less yay to that one can ferre do it

courf<3: he can tell me on the morning of the flight like last time

courf<3: that worked perfectly

therealfeuilly: he didn’t tell you on the morning of the flight he told you at least three times in my presence ALONE weeks in advance

therealfeuilly: and we nearly missed the plane

courf<3: but we DIDN’T is what i’m saying

courf<3: anyway, it was a bonding experience

therealfeuilly: yeah as in I wanted to BOND your face to a wall multiple times

courf<3: is this bitterness because I’m everyone’s fave and you’re not

TheEnjolras: Courfeyrac, if you don’t be quiet I will block you.

TheEnjolras: So! If everyone could have a look at the poll on the Facebook group and select the dates when they’re free, we can begin to narrow down weeks. Obviously I understand if anyone can’t make it for whatever reason. I was thinking that Halloween might be a fun time to aim for, though some people might be going home around then (Marius?)

ep-onin-e: see marius

ep-onin-e: he does want you to go back to england

mariussx: I hate you

-

yo ok so are you around for halloween?

for some reason you aren’t the sort of person who can get away with saying yo

bahorel says yo all the time!! this is so harsh i feel victimised

bahorel is also 6’3”

you’re what

4’11”

I’M 5’ 8”!!!!

sure you are

COMBEFERRE

yes I’m around for halloween, I’m not going home until Christmas

I don’t care anymore

consider this friendship terminated

whatever you say

titch

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

ok so

**do you have the ability to begin any conversation without ok so**

no

ok so

have you talked to e?

**since when? on what topic?**

**yesterday he texted me an entire paragraph of terrible spanish and asked me to correct it**

**it was really romantic**

damn that’s next level

**i kno**

ANYWAY that’s not what I meant

I meant

hve you talked to him about the spoons thing

I think you should

you could text him if you don’t want to do it in person/on the phone

**ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh**

**couuuuuuuuuurfffffffffffffff**

**i dont wanna**

you should

**i knowwww**

**ok**

**i’ll build up to it**

**it might take me a while**

that’s okay

also while we’re on a roll you should ask him out

**nice try**

-

**group chat: combeferre has a stick up his ass and doesnt appreciate hu [courf <3 ; combeferre ; BAHORELLL ; jolllly ; jehan]**

2:32pm

_combeferre_ changed _courf <3_’s nickname to _titch_

jolllly: wow courf I heard your scream all the way from the kitchen

-

**he wouldn’t say yes anyway**

**i mean why would he**

**literally like**

**name one reason**

**enjolras is beautiful he could have anyone he doesnt need to settle**

-

_Hi, Grantaire. I just wanted to check if you were around near the time of Halloween because you haven’t clicked anything on the poll yet :-)_

**oh yea sorry ive been super busy w rehearsals and shit**

**im around i think**

_Excellent!_

_I just thought I’d check in case you had plans with Emmanuel. Congrats on that, by the way :-)_

**oh**

**dont btoher it really isnt that serious**

**we’re barely seeing each other actually. just a two time thing probs**

_Oh!_

_Well, even so, excellent :-)_

-

**group chat: Les Amis de L’ABC [r ; TheEnjolras ; titch ; combeferre ; cxsette ; jolllly ; therealfeuilly ; ep-onin-e ; BAHORELLL ; jehan ; mariussx ; chetta ; bossuettt]**

12:13pm

TheEnjolras: So, it looks like halloween is a go!

TheEnjolras: Also, has anyone noticed that it’s a beautiful day today?

12:32pm

titch: -eyes emoji-

ep-onin-e: -eyes emoji- -eyes emoji-

-

dating you isnt settling

i promise

-

**enjolras?**

_Hello!_

-

[14:15] @grand_taire: SHIT

[14:15] @grand_taire: this is Fine

-

**i was wondering if you were around for a brief chat**

**like on here i mean**

**dw if not**

_Sure, I’m just in the library. Fire away :-)_

-

[14:16] @grand_taire: fuck

-

**ok**

**shit**

**this is like**

**don’t stress or freak out about this, okay? this is like**

**friend to friend**

_Okay?_

**we are friends right**

_Of course we’re friends!_

**right haha**

**obvs**

**right**

**the other week when it was the first skype meeting and I had a dance rehearsal remember?**

_Yes, I remember._

**it sort of pissed me off how you sort of**  
**assumed I was just being annoying by not coming and demanded an explanation in front of the whole group**  
**when I know you wouldn’t do that to chetta or feuilly**  
**and I thought i’d just mention it in case you didn’t realise that like  
**im not being lazy all the time****

**i mean most of the time, sure**

**i think the whole things dumb as you knw**

**and youre probably going to get yourself shot**

**and i swear i wont be there holding some fucking banner with your face on marching and singing la marseillaise after it happens**

**BUT you guys are my friends and i like talking to you**

**so ….. i wouldn’t avoid it if i didn’t have a reason and that reason is usually like**

**crushing existential despair**

**there we go, that’s it**

_I’m going to take five minutes to compose a proper response, because you deserve one. Can you wait five minutes?_

**sure**

-

[14:21] @grand_taire: OH MG YG SHIT S H IT THAT WAS wow ok this is fine

[14:21] @flowercrownchetta: @grand_taire u ok babes

[14:23] @grand_taire: @flowercrownchetta im going to dm you and ur not going to believe this level of stress

-

_Hi, R.  
First of all, I want to apologise to you. You’re right, I was completely out of order asking you to explain in front of the group – I wasn’t thinking and there’s no excuse for it. I really appreciate you bringing this up with me. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. You know that you always have my support, and I’m always round if you want to vent, or just generally would like to chat about anything. As ‘annoying’ (hardly!) as it may be, I really do enjoy debating with you._

_Also, I doubt I’ll die. But thanks for your concern anyway ;-)_

-

[14:25] @grand_taire: FUFIODJFVGHJKKKKKKKKK OH MY GOD

[14:26] @grand_taire: im living

[14:27] @grand_taire: this is truly pathetic actually

[14:27] @courfeyrockyou: @grand_taire STOP SUBTWEETING AND TEXT ME WHAT’S GOING ON

-

**ahhhh its not that big a deal**

**but thanks anyway**

**i like crushing you in debates too**

**also your spanish is shit im emailing you corrections right now i hope for your professor’s sake you didnt hand that in**

_¡Muchas Gracias!_

-

**i know my costume for halloween**

**it’s called ghost of grantaire and it’s really cheap because im already dead so all i have to do is turn up**

what happened

**-screenshot-**

-

**group chat: never mind, it’s apparently hopeless so [titch ; combeferre ; cxsette ; jolllly ; therealfeuilly ; ep-onin-e ; BAHORELLL ; jehan ; mariussx ; chetta ; bossuettt]**

2:35pm

titch changed the group name from **never mind, it’s apparently hopeless so** to **WE’RE ON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short BECAUSE............
> 
> I'M WRITING THE NEXT (and final) CHAPTER IN PROSE AND IT'S GOING TO BE A HALLOWEEN PARTY!!! stay tuned
> 
> my twitter is [here](http://twitter.com/rescuegansey) and my tumblr is [here](http://paviikovsky.tumblr.com)


End file.
